Listening to acoustic versions of popular songs today while working on the computer is keeping me calm. I love music. Not feeling creative but the clock will stand still and I will just think of things I can't do instead of things I can if I don't let my creative juices flow.
I could read, I could draw but I want to DO THINGS. Tomorrow I will go out but until then the music is getting me through.
Monday, December 14, 2015
Friday, December 11, 2015
stripped down
When you start your life over you appreciate the small things.
Going outside and feeling the weather, warm/cold breeze on your skin and the smell of the air, the crisp cold that hits your nose.
The meals you look forward to, well not home made yet are a highlight instead of a necessity.
I am experiencing life all over again and I know I can do this. Bring it on life, I got this.
Going outside and feeling the weather, warm/cold breeze on your skin and the smell of the air, the crisp cold that hits your nose.
The meals you look forward to, well not home made yet are a highlight instead of a necessity.
I am experiencing life all over again and I know I can do this. Bring it on life, I got this.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Refocus
Creativity flows when I hear music... I'm listening to acoustic covers of this years top music, it's very relaxing and helps me think while soothing distractions in my brain.
Tomorrow I meet with some people that will help me decide where I shall move to. Do I move back in to mom's house where I have limited freedoms, out on my own where I do everything by myself or a slightly more shared environment like a dorm but I can have my car and no mom to watch over me.
It's tough being in adult in a new city with no job and a diagnosis of bipolar. PA treats mental disease differently than CT. I find myself not following through loopholes. I need structure in my life, I choose to live correctly and it's hard to do in this harsh, cold world. My problem is that I see the good in people, even if they have fallen. I help them back up... Now that I type that I can see where I'd be a good peer counselor. Not ready to work yet though. I'll try that again in a couple months. The federal government is helping me again, I can do this... This is just a small hiccup in a long life.
Tomorrow I meet with some people that will help me decide where I shall move to. Do I move back in to mom's house where I have limited freedoms, out on my own where I do everything by myself or a slightly more shared environment like a dorm but I can have my car and no mom to watch over me.
It's tough being in adult in a new city with no job and a diagnosis of bipolar. PA treats mental disease differently than CT. I find myself not following through loopholes. I need structure in my life, I choose to live correctly and it's hard to do in this harsh, cold world. My problem is that I see the good in people, even if they have fallen. I help them back up... Now that I type that I can see where I'd be a good peer counselor. Not ready to work yet though. I'll try that again in a couple months. The federal government is helping me again, I can do this... This is just a small hiccup in a long life.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
My purpose today
She looks up for them keyboard and see a blank screen. Writer's block? No... more the opposite, to much to write and too little time. Where does she start? Well I am not trying to write a biography so let's change this...
My hands are dry these past few days where we see the temps more in the 40s than 50s and snow is starting to fall around the outskirts of the city. Normally I'd reach for some hand cream but I want to type a bit more and glaze my eyes over with some pretty pictures. After this entry I'll go watch some videos and let my mind soak up some music.
Now look up and see the words that I type on the screen, the magic of this technology has evolved. To be thankful for technology is strange, I haven't taken it for granted. The past two months have even prevented my from typing but its coming back quite fast... I am hooking up and chatting with old flames and friends via Facebook and realizing the power of the "instant" written word. Creativity is my purpose today... let's see how far I can get!
My hands are dry these past few days where we see the temps more in the 40s than 50s and snow is starting to fall around the outskirts of the city. Normally I'd reach for some hand cream but I want to type a bit more and glaze my eyes over with some pretty pictures. After this entry I'll go watch some videos and let my mind soak up some music.
Now look up and see the words that I type on the screen, the magic of this technology has evolved. To be thankful for technology is strange, I haven't taken it for granted. The past two months have even prevented my from typing but its coming back quite fast... I am hooking up and chatting with old flames and friends via Facebook and realizing the power of the "instant" written word. Creativity is my purpose today... let's see how far I can get!
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Want to write
I find myself wanting write poetry or something creative but my mind is stuck in reality.
All those pretty and descriptive words are stuck in my brain while I believe I am conditioned to think in the here and now. My mind wants to be creative but in my current mindset my brain wont go there. It even frustrates me to the point where I can't read. I get jealous over the written word of others who have the ability to sit and write...
All those pretty and descriptive words are stuck in my brain while I believe I am conditioned to think in the here and now. My mind wants to be creative but in my current mindset my brain wont go there. It even frustrates me to the point where I can't read. I get jealous over the written word of others who have the ability to sit and write...
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
December 1st
Counting the days in this in between state... I am out of my mother's home but not yet in my own. This is a different type of living situation and I am not really at liberty to discuss it but it's very unique to what I am used to.
Although I am not on my own it gives me more independence to do what I want then working and "reporting home" everyday. Soon I will be in my own place and report to myself and GOD.
Although I am not on my own it gives me more independence to do what I want then working and "reporting home" everyday. Soon I will be in my own place and report to myself and GOD.
Monday, November 30, 2015
To write with a blank page in front of me… do I start a “living
blog?” I am living, not a parent…. Not a mommy blog. This is a mind dump. I DO need feedback so I have to comment on
those other blogs I read to have interaction.
Maybe I’ll advertise myself as I would potential customers I’d
have for a PR business. That would be a
great professional goal. Get some small business clients and write for them,
get there name in local papers and in the local section of the Pittsburgh papers.
I’ve got so much time living in a hiccup of life right
now. Not on my own quite yet but not at
mom’s house. Independent, yet not…
I’m 35, time to start living MY life as an adult, no ties
tying me down… so soon, so soon.
Let’s get through this together.
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